I haven’t written for this blog in a very long time. A lot has happened in my life during my absence. I’ve spent a lot of time unfocused and distracted. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, wins and losses, mistakes made, and lessons learned. Some of my life has been difficult to endure. Some life has been exciting. Some I’m still struggling to get through, to get over.
But so much has happened that I figure that this is a great
time to come back, write about what I’ve been going through, and share my experiences
and lessons with you.
I’m in transition.
I don’t know why I am in the place that I am. I don’t know why
I’m going through what I am. I don’t even know how I’m going to make it through
each week, each day. But, I’m transitioning from one life to another. From one
way of thinking to another. I am learning to trust God more completely. He told
me in His Word not to worry about tomorrow. To focus on today and let tomorrow
worry about itself.
I’m trying.
I’m trying to do life God’s way and not my own.
“Nevertheless, Father, not my will, but thy will be done” (Luke 22:42). That’s
my cry. Because every time I try to do things on my own, I fail. I mess things
up.
I give my life, my issues, my decisions over to God because
I’ve realized that I cannot handle them on my own. I’m not equipped to. In
doing this, I’ve seen that outcomes are different, growth is realized, changes
are made.
But it’s still hard when life is so uncertain. I don’t know where I'm going to be tomorrow or what I'm going to be doing. I never know what’s going to happen next, what God is going to call me to do, what is going to come my way. But I trust God to take care of me.
There are some scary things happening, some fear that threatens
to keep me stagnant, and some relationships that have tried and tested me. But I
know that whatever happens, it’s going to, eventually, work out for my good. I
know that God has a plan for me that is not always easy but is going to prosper
me. I know that it is going to grow me, not harm me.
The things that I’ve been going through are complicated. And
long. And hard. And difficult to understand. I will share my roller coaster
ride of ups and downs, uncertainty and confusion, victories and defeats.
I’ve survived it all.
I'm still surviving. Still standing.
It hasn’t been easy. But God has been with me - leading me,
guiding me, comforting me, reassuring me. He has never left nor failed me.
The relaunch of this blog is long overdue for some of you. For some, this blog is an introduction. To all of you, I hope that my journey - my testimony - will help you in some way. I hope it helps you to understand something you’ve been going through. To see the lesson in it. I hope that my testimony can help you see something within yourself and possibly facilitate change and growth. I hope we can learn and grow together and confidently move toward our God given purpose.
May God’s will be done in our lives.
